Conservatives: Get Cancer and Die, Blasphemers

The religious right comes down on the side of cervical cancer, trying to kill deployment of a vaccine that will save 3700 women's lives per year. All because they don't want to seem to be condoning pre-marital sex.

Way to be pro-life, you two-faced microcephalics.

Woody Allen: Not So Self-Aware

Says relationship with Soon-Yi has a "more paternal feeling" then previous relationships.

Happy Halloween, Dullards!

D'oh!

Gary Trudeau must have mixed feelings about Meirs' withdrawl.

Timing is Just Too Perfect

Bush is looking for a nominee. Scooter is looking for a job. I don't think anyone doubts Scooter's conservative cred.

Repeat after me, Justice Scooter.

Maybe He'll Bring Nate Back From the Dead?

Six Feet Under's Alan Ball is helming a vampire series for HBO. I'll bet even my devlopmentally-challenged bride will watch it.

I <3 the Onion

Because this is what happens when you try to f%&k with them.

Gay or not gay?

Sulu.

'Desperate' grumblings in MSM

As first noted in the Dullard Gazette, "Desperate Housewives" has not been up to snuff so far this season.

Now mainstream media outlets, such as Entertainment Weekly in this review, are beginning to see our point of view. Even Marcia "Bree" Cross says the show could be better.

Lenny Kravitz Sued for Spewing Crap

About time.

Don't Put Pumpkins in the Garbage Disposal

Not a staggeringly important posting today, but worth noting. Once you become a homeowner, you start having to keep track of what can and can't go down the disposal.

The City in Jello

I am in awe of this.

Anne Rice Finds Jebus

At least this should stop the downward spiral of the Lestat books.

Monty Python sketch come to life

A dead parrot in the U.K. may have had the bird flu. Or maybe it's just sleeping...

Win Larry David's Prius!

Enter the sweepstakes on the Internets.

iMac backstory

A coupla-three weeks ago, I promised a review of our new computer. Instead, I submit this column from my techno-columnist spouse. Enjoy!

Underworld: Evolution

Yesssss! As I keep trying to explain to my lovely, but evidently retarded bride, it's VAMPIRES VS. WEREWOLVES! I predict this will be the best movie since, well, Underworld. You just can't miss. This ain't even just Dracula vs. the Wolfman, this is hordes of vampires and packs of lycan's going at it, fang to claw!

ARGBGHRHBGHRGBGH!

Sweet baby Jesus, January 20th can't get here soon enough.

Spuddy Gray's final words

The last, unfinished works of Spalding Gray are being released, both in a book and in excerpts on the NPR site.

This Halloween, Don't Kid Yourself

Nobody thinks that a clown packs.

And don't go wearing any of these costumes, either.

4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42

Hundreds of people reportedly used the numbers from Lost to play the most recent Iowa lottery.

Are you people not watching the show? Even if you win the lottery, those numbers will ruin your life! I've probably doomed this blog just by typing them into the headline!

The New Yorker Profiles Sarah Silverman

Who doesn't love Sarah Silverman?

$cientology's lawyers are on the march

They're trying to stop a satirical site that mocks Thomas Mapother IV.

Is there anything lower than a $cientology lawyer? How do they sleep at night knowing that they are doing the bidding of El Ron?

Pentagon to Nat'l Guard: $15K Tax-free to Re-enlist for 6 Years

Heh-heh. We lied.

It's unclear from the story whether those who re-enlisted under the delusion that they would actually get the money the Pentagon promised can now de-enlist. But it's a good warning sign that the administration, thanks to its tax-cuts for the rich, is starting to realize they are underfunding the government. But are they looking to reinstate taxes on the rich? No, they're looking to screw the lower and middle classes, by pulling stunts like this, and considering revoking the tax deduction for interest paid on home mortgages.

Yeah, great. They can increase my tax burden by something like 30% or touch the richest 3% of the country for an extra 5% of their wealth.* Sounds like a good plan.

Worst. President. Evaaaaar.

*Numbers pulled entirely out of my butt.

Ghost Town Mark IV

This Thursday at 9:15, The 4th or so version of Ghost Town launches with the debut of our new singer. Laura Derby, formerly of electronica act Cirrus, brings her jazzy inflections to the alt.country songwriting of Frank San Filippo. Combined with the impressionistic voicings and jam-band soloing of Ken Lasaine on guitar, Kevin Smith on electric piano & organ, and Adam Steinberg on skins, this latest incarnation is a rocking, eclectic melange. Come on out for a good time, as we play an hour-plus long set at this new bi-monthly series at Tempest.

Cover is $8, but drop me an an email, and I'll send you a dollar-off flyer.

That Sounds Like Pretty Much the Only Way David Copperfield COULD Get a Gal Pregnant

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Gotta Move to Canada

At least one of their political candidates admits to being a "big piece of poop."

Condi to take on Hillary in 2008 Presidential Race

In other news, the Guardian will apparently print any kind of random monkey dung Dick Morris pulls out of his butt.

On the cover of the Rolling Stone

This 1980 image of John and Yoko led to the best cover of the last 40 years, according to editors.

Another 'SNL' casualty

Charles Rocket, from the forgotten cast of the early 1980s, has committed suicide. The survival rate for that show really isn't too good, is it?

'Shining!' is the feel-good hit of the season

Some guy has put together a "trailer" for Stanley Kubrick's "The Shining" that recasts the horror flick into a new, positive light. There's even some Peter Gabriel music to lighten the mood.

Heck, it might even be better than "Elizabethtown!"

I'm an mp3 Man, Too!

Uh, Jody? We might want to go with a DDD cup. I have a LOT of CDs to digitize.

Hey, Scott....

I'm just saying.

Beignets are back!

Well, soon. Cafe du Monde will reopen next week, allowing the people of New Orleans and tourists to once again feast on fried dough and powdered sugar.

Holmes-Mapother update

The diligent news-gatherers from E! give us the latest on Katie Holmes and Thomas "Cruise" Mapother IV. Among the chatter: rumors of an angry dad, in-vitro procedures and weird Scientology birth practices. I believe it all.

Movie-game convergence

The movie version of "Doom!" opens next week, which feels about 10 years too late. It stars The Rock. How did this not go straight to video?

Meanwhile, "The Warriors!" is now a videogame. The screen shot here would seem to indicate that it will be rated M for mature. Who woulda thunk?

A New World Record

Why do we look up to people who surpass all previous human achievements in their fields of endeavor? I think it has something to do with reminding us of our own potential to rise above the the mundane, these fields of clay, these merely moderately-sized nipple hairs.

Beedogs.com

"The premier online repository for pictures of dogs in bee costumes."

Noooooo!

'Rocky 6' begins shooting in December. Hollywood continues to confuse "exploiting 30-something's nostaliga for the pleasure of their youth" with "shitting all over my childhood."

Feh.

Section 2257 May Apply to Non-Pornagraphic Films

Note to right-wing nutjobs: you can have a smaller government, or you can create a lot of pointless, ineffectual laws that make it look like you're protecting the children, but you can't do both.

So Funny It Makes Me Angry

Need a New Job?

Sign o' the Times

R.E.M. plays wedding reception

Retired drummer Bill Berry joins his old mates for a seven-song set at bowling alley in Athens, Ga. "Rockville" and even "Radio Free Europe" make the setlist.

Louis Nye dead

Old-time comedian Louis Nye has died at age 92. You whipper-snappers may know him best from "Curb Your Enthusiasm" in which he played Jeff's dad and called Larry "rotten" on several occasions.

'Wallace and Gromit' disaster

Even as their movie goes #1 stateside, Wallace and Gromit are hit with tragedy as a fire hits a British warehouse containing sets and other items. Items from the claymation duo's new movie were not involved, however.

Dullard rating for "Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit!": Rocked! (Or "cracking," as Wallace might say.)

Someone's Got a Birthday Coming Up....

For the girl who has everything.

'Two Tigers' lives!

A site that lists where to play old arcade games says there are at least two places in the United States that still have "Two Tigers" -- one in Huntington Beach.

For those who never played it, "Two Tigers" is a two-player cooperative game in which you and a friend fly planes to kill nasty ships. (You could also play solo, but that wasn't as fun.)

Conversion complete

Our iMac G5 arrived today. So far, so good: Effortless setup and installation. Everything works. The built-in speakers rock pretty good for a computer, and as I write this, a Violent Femmes song is coming through perfectly via the Internets.

I will post a full review later, but I do have one quibble early on: The shipping from Apple was a bit sluggish, and each item (printer, Office software, the actual machine) arrived separately, sometimes days apart. Our iPod (a freebie they threw in during a special promotion) won't get here until next week, even though the order was placed two weeks ago.

Google Blogfeed Reader

Interesting interface, but....not so much for me, not yet.

Farrah Fawcet to Show Her Bust....

Of Rodney Dangerfield.

Dear Judy

Here's something not from the TV: The letter from White House official Scooter Libby to NYT scribe Judith Miller is raising eyebrows. The missive resulted in Miller being sprung from jail in the Plame probe. Here's the section that arouses those who see conspiracy in such things:

Your reporting, and you, are missed. Out West, where you vacation, the aspens will already be turning. They turn in clusters, because their roots connect them. Come back to work -- and life.

In a Game of Cow vs. Dog....

Cow wins.

Fiona snApple Interview

For Fiona fans like Jody. In other music news, I haven't gotten the new Kate Bush or Amy Mann yet -- anybody have a review?

And Jill Sobule is playing Largo tonight, but I'll probably be too lazy to try to go see her after tonight's Ghost Town rehearsal. Fortunately, she's also appearing at something called the Songwriter's Studio on Tuesday.

I did catch Liz Phair on the Tonight Show this week, and her new single is just awful. She is, as Whitney Houston would say, ovah. (Though she still looks MILFtastic.)

Lost and Arrested

Another mind-blower on last night's Lost. I enjoyed last season, but man, it was just setting the table for this season. Likey.

And finally got around to watching this week's Arrested Development, which was pretty damn good, as well. I'll miss that show. I hope they let them do the full season this year, and bring the series to some kind of closure. It's been odd seeing my former coworker Dave Thomas with a phony British accent, but good to see him working. If you're interested in some theorizing about just how clever those bastards are, scroll over the spoiler text in Tom the Dog's posting.

This week's Curb was upgraded to a B+, and Extras slacked off a bit for an A-, for those of you keeping score at home. Oh, and the American version of The Office has been quite good this year, as well.

Survivor's been pretty solid, too, though it looks like there may be changes afoot next season.

Damn, I watch a lot of TV!

'Entourage!' humor

This tale of the tape between Vince and Drama is funny, but I don't get all the jokes. Maybe some of our SoCal readers will.

Gay or not gay?

Harry Potter.

Beatles for sale!

Well, you can at least buy their wax heads at auction, where they are expected to get bids of 80,000 quid. Meanwhile, Yoko will be live at Budokan this week in honor of her late husband, who would have turned 65(!) this weekend. Will she perform "Oh Yoko"?

Well, We Didn't Mean He LITERALLY Rose From the Dead

Catholic Church no longer swears by truth of the Bible.

Huh.

I wonder who the father is.

In a Game of Gator vs. Python....

Nobody wins.

Sarah Polley Recalls Trauma of Making Terry Gilliam's Munchausen

Big baby. What about my trauma for having to sit through 12 Monkeys?

Roger Waters on R.E.M.

The Pink Floyd maestro, plugging his new opera "Ca Ira," tells CNN that he loves "Everybody Hurts."

Bacharach Records Protest Album

Enlists Dre & Costello.

Huh.

Nick Cage sires Superman

The "Adaptation!" actor and fourth wife Alice welcome newborn son Kal-el Coppola Cage to the world. The first name comes from the Superman comics, apparently inspired by the "Face!/Off!" star's interest in such lore.

'Housewives' hitting sophomore slump?

As strong as "Lost!" is in its second season, "Desperate Housewives!" is looking pretty anemic so far. The storylines held over from last season are plodding along at, well, at the pace of a soap opera. And the new "who's chained in the basement" plot feels, well, a little too hatch-like (as in the mystery portal on the "Lost" island).

Maybe they oughta bring Rex back from the dead and let Carlos out of jail. It's more fun with the hubbies around.

Obama '08!

I don't know how good a politician he may be, but man, it'd be nice to have someone in charge who can do the speechifyin' without making educated folk cringe.

The Guardian Profiles Jon Stewart

Eh.

No Corruption Left Behind

Bush administration involved in covert propaganda operation about something as silly as education. We all hope this is the only wrong-doing the well-liked and well-respected administration has been involved with.