He didn't even flush

Sen. Larry Craig of Idaho, despite a guilty plea, says a "lewd conduct" incident in an airport bathroom was just a misunderstanding. Study the mug shot, read the police report and decide for yourself.

Here are some Dullard tips on how to avoid this kind of situation when visiting our nation's public bathrooms:

• DO enter the bathroom with a mission: get in and get out quickly.
• DO try to avoid touching as little as possible.
• DO keep quiet. This is not the place for chit-chat.
• DO keep your eyes to yourself.
• DO your business.
• DO flush the toilet if it doesn't do so automatically. The next person deserves a clean bowl.
• DO wash your hands.
• DO get the hell out when you're done.

• DON'T linger in front of an occupied stall.
• DON'T peek into an occupied stall.
• DON'T make eye contact with the person in an occupied stall.
• DON'T tap your right foot when seated in a stall. This can be perceived as a signal that you are interested in "lewd conduct."
• DON'T let your right foot touch the left foot of the person in the stall next to you.
• DON'T repeatedly swipe your hand under the stall divider for a few seconds. This also can be perceived as a signal that you are interested in "lewd conduct."
• DON'T try to impress the police with your business card while you are being arrested.

These tips will almost certainly keep you out of trouble and out of the headlines. That's essential if you are a "family values" politician.

A curious footnote: At the end of the police report, the officer says that Craig was worried about missing his flight. A detective called the airline to try to get the flight held, but no one answered. Good to see Big Air's customer service coming through in the clutch.