Tuesday, May 16

Nearly half our readers are pre-pregnant!

From now until further notice:

New federal guidelines ask all females capable of conceiving a baby to treat themselves -- and to be treated by the health care system -- as pre-pregnant, regardless of whether they plan to get pregnant anytime soon.

Among other things, this means all women between first menstrual period and menopause should take folic acid supplements, refrain from smoking, maintain a healthy weight and keep chronic conditions such as asthma and diabetes under control."


You've been put on notice, empty vessels.

Britney-gate!


Good to see the NYC tabloids all over this latest Britney news. This is why America has a free press, to serve as a watchdog on celebrity stupidity.

Monday, May 15

When animals attack

  • A Canadian mountain biker survives an encounter with a black bear.
  • Women in Florida aren't so fortunate when they come face to face with alligators in three separate incidents.
  • On the lighter side, at least the puppies and the cat in this video can reach detente.

Sunday, May 14

LIST: Ranking the Rolling Stones

1. Charlie Watts: Great drummer; maintains "above it all" attitude yet still not arrogant.

2. Keith Richards: The ultimate survivor — assuming he shakes off the effects of falling out of a tree in Fiji.

3. Mick Taylor: Superb guitarist from the group's glory period of 1969-1974.

4. Mick Jagger: As time goes by, his talent is overshadowed by his preening.

5. Brian Jones: Experimentalism went beyond music into drugs; dying in a swimming pool is not cool.

6. Ron Wood: The bizarro Rod Stewart.

7. Bill Wyman: Seemed old when "Satisfaction" hit No. 1 in 1965; got creepier from there.

How the Zippers went to Hell


The rise and fall of the Squirrel Nut Zippers is recounted, complete with drugs, divorce and millions of dollars earned and spent.

Here's a music video from back in the day.

Friday, May 12

Little-know fact

Whales and dolphins can do it. There's something pleasantly humorous about that. But I don't know if it fills me with so much joy that I would name my DVD magazine after their offspring. But there you go.

Fill my eyes with that double vision

Movie critic Bob Mondello sounds off on movies Hollywood producers liked so much, they named them twice. Yes, he even mentions "Rochelle Rochelle" of "Seinfeld" fame.

Dullard news ticker: question edition

GOT IT BAD, GOT IT BAD, GOT IT BAD: Is this teacher too hot for a Florida high school?

YOU'VE BEEN JUICED: Is O.J. in bad taste for "selling" a Ford Bronco for his prank TV show? What a cutup!

WILD PITCH: Is former MLB pitcher Rick Sutcliffe drunk during this impromptu, in-game interview?

BATTLE ROYALE: Who will win the congressional catfight? You decide!

Presidential programming

NEWS ITEM: President Bush will deliver what's billed as a major speech Monday night. The topic is immigration.

REACTION: The wife says, "Is this going to mess up my 'Grey's Anatomy'?"

Wednesday, May 10

David Byrne's role-playing games


An earlier post on the Dire Straits song "Money For Nothing" discussed the device of "role playing" in music: the technique in which singers or lyricists take on personas of characters radically unlike themselves.

This post will look at how David Byrne and the band Talking Heads "role played" protaganists in their songs. It's a trick Byrne used throughout the Heads' career. (We will ignore the Byrne-less "No Talking, Just Heads" disc.) Indeed, Bryne seemed to enjoy playing a variety of characters not only in song, but also on LP covers, on stage and on screen:

  • the polite, button-downed egghead of "Talking Heads: 77"
  • the bespectacled nerd in the "Once in a Lifetime" video
  • the big-suited businessman from "Stop Making Sense"
  • the deadpan cowboy narrator of "True Stories"
Such characters are incorporated into the Heads music as well. Here are the top three Talking Heads tracks in which Byrne goes into character:

3. "The Big Country," from "More Songs About Buildings and Food." In the album's closing track, Byrne takes on the role of a man on an airplane trip. From his window seat, Byrne's traveler dispassionately describes what the view:

I see the shoreline.
I see the whitecaps.
A baseball diamond, nice weather down there.
I see the school and the houses where the kids are.

Then, in the chorus, he abandons the reportage for a denunciation:

I wouldn't live there if you paid me.
I couldn't live like that, no siree!
I couldn't do the things the way those people do.
I couldn't live there if you paid me to.

The song's power comes from the sudden change from neutrality to judgment. Byrne's character expresses a contempt for the heartland years before the term "flyover country" came into vogue.

2. "Psycho Killer" from "Talking Heads: 77." Beginning with the throbbing bass of Tina Weymouth, this song is one of the signature tracks of New York's New Wave movement. Here, Byrne plays a decidely disturbed man, although the song's title is its main indication of just how disturbed he might be. The lyrics are more oblique, but they nonetheless bring the listener into the mindset of a person who's not all there:

I can't seem to face up to the facts
I'm tense and nervous and I
Can't relax
I can't sleep 'cause my bed's on fire
Don't touch me I'm a real live wire

After establishing his character as one who may be menacing, he spells out his biggest gripe:
I hate people when they're not polite.

Again, Byrne plays with the idea of contrast, taking his lyrics into a counterintuitive direction. The effect is startling, especially when set against the Spartan music. (What was it like to hear this in the era of Foghat, Frampton and the Eagles?)

1. "Life During Wartime" from "Fear of Music." This song became a minor hit thanks to its "this ain't no disco" lyric, even gaining airplay on what were then called Album Oriented Rock stations. But the song is sung from the point of view of an insurgent who's too busy with his cause to engage in dancing or "lovey-dovey."

The track, which Byrne turned into an aerobic workout in the still-brilliant concert movie "Stop Making Sense," conveys a feeling that it could last forever, like a war that never ends. Byrne's character describes a life on the run and incognito, culminating in the darkly humorous line:

I changed my hairstyle, so many times now
I don't know what I look like!

"Life During Wartime" has also proven to be prescient, and it is odd to listen to in these times. Especially creepy is this line, which is more applicable to the U.S. government than it is to urban guerrillas:

We've got computers
We're tapping phone lines
I know that ain't allowed

The difference now, of course, is that our leaders argue that it is allowed.

Tuesday, May 9

Mac back on the attack

Apple, perhaps emboldened by its iPod success, returns to its roots in a new set of humorous ads pitting Mac vs. PC. The upside: John Hodgman of TV's "The Daily Show" portraying a Windows PC in need of some restarting. The downside: irritating "Baby Einstein" music.

Scientology gets Super-sized

It's not just auditing and engrams anymore. Now El Ron's teachings can turn you into a superhero! (Actual cost of superhero training is not available.)