One of the magazines my company publishes is for the cosmetics packaging industry. While working on their site this week, I became acquainted with some wonderfully misnamed fragrances on the market this year? Shall I share them with you? Yes.
First off is some gender dysphoria and inexplicable capitalization over at Adidas. They went with "addidas moves FRESH for Him" for their male scent, and "adidas Adrenaline Woman" for the fairer sex. Clearly, you would have to be one hell of a limp-wristed knobswallower (not that there's anything wrong with that) to purchase FRESH for Him, and I don't wish to go anywhere near Adrenaline Woman, at least not since she was kicked out of the Golden Age JSA.
While on the knobgobbling tip (so to speak) it's worth mentioning "HUMMER Fragrance for Men" and "Liquid Karl" by Karl Lagerfeld, who apparently swings both ways with his unisex parfum. I don't want no Liquid Karl on me.
On the distaff side, we have the improbably named "Anna Sui Dolly Girl Ooh La Love" and the more incompetently named "Eau de New York." Proposed tag-line: Nothing says "sexy" like the scent of street-vendor pretzels and bum urine.
Most of the rest of the silly perfumes are vanity products such as "Spirit Antonio Banderas" and "Donald Trump The Fragrance," which I'm sure is a major, major fragrance, world class. And for the ladies who want to smell like a world class skank, there's always "Paris Hilton."
Of course, none of these, uh, beat (get it?!) "Cumming - the Fragrance."
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